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| Some Helpful (?) Hints from Dad compliments of everychildfirst.com If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. If you’re a woman, avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat by using super glue to secure it. If you’re a man, avoid arguments with your wife about lowering the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you want to get rid of a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives: you will be too afraid to cough. Remember you only need two tool s in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape. |